I have never been a fan of words like; whore, slut, hoe, smut, skank, ect. I think that these are negative words that are intended to make women feel guilty for making personal decisions about her sex life. I never understood why someone who wasn't involved in the actual fornication process would waste their time speaking badly about a situation or activity that had exactly nothing to do with them. Regardless of how I feel about this type of thing over here at the 'Twilight Zone', the reality of you Earthlings is that lots and lots of smack has been spoken about the various vagina's that have been oh so accommodating of various visiting penises. This why I have come up with some simple suggestions regarding..
How To Avoid Being Labeled a Whore, Hoe, Slut, Smut, Skank
(or any other mean word)
1. Choose better partners: Too many times I have seen women put themselves in awkward, compromising and down right disastrous situations because they made the decision to give up their goodies to someone who was way less than deserving. If you bang someone and you know that they have asshole tendencies, do not expect him to miraculously change after he blows his load. That's not how this works. In fact, he typically will morph into an even bigger douchelord once he has successfully (or even not so successfully) conquered your womanhood. This is unfortunately when awful things occur such as but not limited to; your naughty pictures being leaked, your sexual business broadcasted throughout the social networking land, your character being brought into question and so on and so forth. So, ladies, make better choices about who you're allowing to penetrate you. If you have repeatedly chosen the wrong men to do the humpty dance with then please refer to my post titled "Dickswag." Read it, absorb it and apply it to real life situations; I promise that great things will come into fruition soon after.
2. Don't mess with another persons significant other: Regardless of how hard a guy is coming at you with the sweet talk, persuasive puppy dog eyes, constant attention and flattery; if you know he has a girlfriend, just say no. If you are fully aware of his relationship status and choose to ignore this very important piece of information and engage in a round or two of the naked tango anyway, then please know that you are now very vulnerable and almost asking to be called disrespectful names. If and when this persons significant other discovers your affair, she will without a doubt be furious. If she is like most girls, she will fail to address her loser of a boyfriend and immediately direct her intense anger to the "whore" who is both literally and figuratively riding her mans' dick. This girl will surely tell all of her friends and they will go on and tell their friends and soon everyone will know about your home wrecking and jump off tendencies. Sadly, those are two reputations that are difficult to shake. I don't want this to happen to any of my readers, so I beg you to at the very least only let that hour hand strike 'get it in 0'clock' with unattached, available and single men.
3. One Penis at a time: Listen, I know that men in this generation are out here getting their dicks wet left and right and that for some bizarre reason it is OK for them be engaging in these promiscuous sexual adventures. Much to my dismay, even in 2012, it is not okay for women to do the same. This double standard is the worst, the feminist in me hates everything about it and would probably even stand in a picket line to protest. But society is society and to avoid any negativity being thrown your way, I would advise to try to stick to one penis at a time. In my opinion, quality is always better than quantity anyways; it's better to have lots of mediocre- mind blowing sex with one person than it is to have unsatisfying sex with lots of different people. It's okay to have a few subs waiting on the bench but lets try to give one player some ample game time before you decide to not renew his contract or start holding tryouts while he is still on the court. Not only will this allow you to possibly create a connection deeper than what you may have imagined possible with this human but you will also not be partaking in any overly questionable behavior, therefore there will be no drama or negativity associated with your sex sessions.
4. Watch your mouth: It is a fact that people love to talk about other peoples business. This is why it is imperative that you are super duper careful about who you share the details of your sexual romps with. I always remind myself of the quote [that I heard on the opening credits of the show Pretty Little Liars] "two can keep a secret if one of us is dead" before I blab some explicit details about a steamy Saturday night to any of my friends or foes. Once you tell someone something, that information no longer belongs to you and that person who now owns this juicy gossip is free to do what he/she chooses with it. Obviously, if your sex life is public knowledge there is an extremely high chance that the public will feel privileged to share their opinions about you and your punani. Just think a little bit before you pop off at the mouth,
5. Cheaters never prosper: Just like it is important to not get down with the get down with someone who is currently in a relationship, it is equally as important to not be a cheating cheetah. The thing about cheating is that no matter what the circumstances, there is just simply no justifying that kind of behavior to your significant other...or even really anyone else. Usually cheaters get caught, and usually when this happens you will be deemed some kind of undesirable name(s) due to your inability to keep the lid on your cookie jar. My advice would be to 1. Keep it in your pants around any person who you are not currently in a committed relationship with 2. if being faithful is an unrealistic expectation then I would advise to be the realest of real and promptly hop off the relationship train at the next stop. If by chance you are unable to make the aforementioned moves and try to have your cake and eat it too, then all I have to say to you is...good luck and God speed.
6. Don't act like one if you ain't one : I know that the people who read this blog are intelligent individuals who are fully aware of what does and doesn't constitute "hoe-ish behavior." So I know you know to be mindful of the kind of message you're giving off to these streets and/or social networks. If you aren't a skankarooni or are but don't wish to be called one, then don't portray yourself like one; easy peasy. Basically what I'm saying here is to check yourself before you wreck yourself.
**If it was up to me, you all could get it in with whoever you wanted, however you wanted, where ever you wanted with absolutely no backlash, ever. I never judge. I do however think that it is fairly easy to conduct yourself in a manner which would prevent any unnecessary stress from being directed towards you and whatever you do or don't do in the sheets. After all, sex should never be the cause of stress--it should only relieve it.**
As always- peace, love and lots of gyrations,