Whores, Skanks, Smuts and Hoes

So, if you read this blog then you know that I spend a lot of my time encouraging my readers to engage in  healthy, satisfying sexual experiences. I think that having a positive sexual relationship with yourself and others is an important part of living a happy, well rounded life. However, I am very well aware that being so open about sexuality can be taboo, especially in a society that is as confused and contrived as the one we live in.

I have never been a fan of words like; whore, slut, hoe, smut, skank, ect. I think that these are negative words that are intended to make women feel guilty for making personal decisions about her sex life. I never understood why someone who wasn't involved in the actual fornication process would waste their time speaking badly about a situation or activity that had exactly nothing to do with them. Regardless of how I feel about this type of thing over here at the 'Twilight Zone', the reality of you Earthlings is that lots and lots of smack has been spoken about the various vagina's that have been oh so accommodating of various visiting penises. This why I have come up with some simple suggestions regarding..

How To Avoid Being Labeled a Whore, Hoe, Slut, Smut, Skank   

(or any other mean word)

1. Choose better partners: Too many times I have seen women put themselves in awkward, compromising and down right disastrous situations because they made the decision to give up their goodies to someone who was way less than deserving. If you bang someone and you know that they have asshole tendencies, do not expect him to miraculously change after he blows his load. That's not how this works. In fact, he typically will morph into an even bigger douchelord once he has successfully (or even not so successfully) conquered your womanhood. This is unfortunately when awful things occur such as but not limited to; your naughty pictures being leaked, your sexual business broadcasted throughout the social networking land, your character being brought into question and so on and so forth. So, ladies, make better choices about who you're allowing to penetrate you. If you have repeatedly chosen the wrong men to do the humpty dance with then please refer to my post titled "Dickswag." Read it, absorb it and apply it to real life situations; I promise that great things will come into fruition soon after.

2. Don't mess with another persons significant other: Regardless of how hard a guy is coming at you with the sweet talk, persuasive puppy dog eyes, constant attention and flattery; if you know he has a girlfriend, just say no. If you are fully aware of his relationship status and choose to ignore this very important piece of information and engage in a round or two of the naked tango anyway, then please know that you are now very vulnerable and almost asking to be called disrespectful names. If and when this persons significant other discovers your affair, she will without a doubt be furious. If she is like most girls, she will fail to address her loser of a boyfriend and immediately direct her intense anger to the "whore" who is both literally and figuratively riding her mans' dick. This girl will surely tell all of her friends and they will go on and tell their friends and soon everyone will know about your home wrecking and jump off tendencies. Sadly, those are two reputations that are difficult to shake. I don't want this to happen to any of my readers, so I beg you to at the very least only let that hour hand strike 'get it in 0'clock' with unattached, available and single men.

3. One Penis at a time: Listen, I know that men in this generation are out here getting their dicks wet left and right and that for some bizarre reason it is OK for them be engaging in these promiscuous sexual adventures. Much to my dismay, even in 2012, it is not okay for women to do the same. This double standard is the worst, the feminist in me hates everything about it and would probably even stand in a picket line to protest. But society is society and to avoid any negativity being thrown your way, I would advise to try to stick to one penis at a time. In my opinion, quality is always better than quantity anyways; it's better to have lots of mediocre- mind blowing sex with one person than it is to have unsatisfying sex with lots of different people. It's okay to have a few subs waiting on the bench but lets try to give one player some ample game time before you decide to not renew his contract or start holding tryouts while he is still on the court. Not only will this allow you to possibly create a connection deeper than what you may have imagined possible with this human but you will also not be partaking in any overly questionable behavior, therefore there will be no drama or negativity associated with your sex sessions.

4. Watch your mouth: It is a fact that people love to talk about other peoples business. This is why it is imperative that you are super duper careful about who you share the details of your sexual romps with. I always remind myself of the quote [that I heard on the opening credits of the show Pretty Little Liars] "two can keep a secret if one of us is dead" before I blab some explicit details about a steamy Saturday night to any of my friends or foes. Once you tell someone something, that information no longer belongs to you and that person who now owns this juicy gossip is  free to do what he/she chooses with it. Obviously, if your sex life is public knowledge there is an extremely high chance that the public will feel privileged to share their opinions about you and  your punani. Just think a little bit before you pop off at the mouth,

5. Cheaters never prosper: Just like it is important to not get down with the get down with someone who is currently in a relationship, it is equally as important to not be a cheating cheetah. The thing about cheating is that no matter what the circumstances, there is just simply no justifying that kind of behavior to your significant other...or even really anyone else. Usually cheaters get caught, and usually when this happens you will be deemed some kind of undesirable name(s) due to your inability to keep the lid on your cookie jar. My advice would be to 1. Keep it in your pants around any person who you are not currently in a committed relationship with 2. if being faithful is an unrealistic expectation then I would advise to be the realest of real and promptly hop off the relationship train at the next stop. If by chance you are unable to make the aforementioned moves and try to have your cake and eat it too, then all I have to say to you is...good luck and God speed.

6. Don't act like one if you ain't one : I know that the people who read this blog are intelligent individuals who are fully aware of what does and doesn't constitute "hoe-ish behavior." So I know you know to be mindful of the kind of message you're giving off to these streets and/or social networks. If you aren't a skankarooni or are but don't wish to be called one,  then don't portray yourself like one; easy peasy. Basically what I'm saying here is to check yourself before you wreck yourself.


**If it was up to me, you all could get it in with whoever you wanted, however you wanted, where ever you wanted with absolutely no backlash, ever. I never judge. I do however think that it is fairly easy to conduct yourself in a manner which would prevent any unnecessary stress from being directed towards you and whatever you do or don't do in the sheets. After all, sex should never be the cause of stress--it should only relieve it.**

As always- peace, love and lots of gyrations,
Bcoll$

Cheatin' Cheetas

It is a sad but true fact that right this very second someone is making the decision to either cheat on their significant other, deciding to accept their role as "the other woman or man" also known as the "side piece", or are being cheated on. Just take a look around this crazy world we live in; the media is borderline obsessed with the fidelity of celebrities and political figures, social network sites magnify and at times, broadcast the happenings of relationships and you can even get a glimpse of the "shadiness" that occurs just in your hometown by simply spending an evening out on the town. Infidelity appears to have made it's self quite comfortable in societies all over the world and it does not look like it's going to be making an exit anytime soon.

I personally have always been fascinated with why cheating even occurs in the first place. I remember in high school when I heard of a really beautiful girl being cheated on by her boyfriend at the time. I was honestly bewildered as to why this guy felt the need to cheat, and with a girl that was in my opinion, less attractive nonetheless! Unfortunately, as I have gotten older, I have found myself bewildered lots and lots of more times and I don't enjoy anything about that feeling--which is why I decided to write an entire blog dedicated to the topic of cheating. I knew that writing this post solely from my own perspective wouldn't be sufficient enough for you radical readers because everyone has different experiences, opinions and theories about infidelity. So, I hunted down 4 incredibly different but in my opinion, honorable and honest humans and had an extensive interview where they graciously allowed me to pry and ask personal questions about everything from their own experience with cheating to their views and interpretations of it. I think that the only way to truly try to get a handle on the complex inner workings of cheating is to gather perspectives, read/ listen them with an open mind and take away whatever speaks to you the most.  I hope you cutie patooties enjoy these interviews or at the very least, get a kick out of being encouraged (by me)  to stick that nose of yours all up into other peoples business.

As always, here at "The Twilight Zone" anything goes. Enjoy!

THE INTERVIEWS


Subject #1:

Profile: This subject is currently a single lovely lesbian lady- living and loving everything about life.

The Questions:
1. Have you ever cheated: Never physically but emotionally I have invested myself in someone while dating someone else.
2. Have you ever been cheated on: Not that I know of
3. What was your reasoning for cheating, if any: That person satisfied aspects of a relationship that my significant other did not.
4. In general, what are your feelings regarding cheating: I hate it, hated the way it made me feel to do it and I hated the way it made my significant other feel even more. At the same time, I felt almost powerless to stop it.
5. Do you think it is possible to love someone even though you are cheating on them: yes, you can love someone you are cheating on but you should definitely not be with them.
6. Do you believe it is possible to be monogamous this day in age?: I don't think that humans are monogamous creatures but that doesn't mean people can't make it work without cheating. The urges will likely be there at some point.
7. If you were cheated on by you significant other, would you stay: I always say that cheating is my bottom line but for me, as much as I wish I could leave and not turn back, it is situational. Some people might be worth fighting for even if they are cheatin' cheetahs. [her words not mine ;)] Also, it might depend on their who/what/where of cheating.
8. What constitutes cheating? Is it simply physical or emotional as well: Emotionally cheating might be worse than doing it strictly for ass. Emotional cheating should warrant reevaluation of your relationship with your significant other. It is just a hop, skip and hump away from doing the dirty.


Subject #2:

Profile: This subject is a marvelous man, who is always down for a good time and can always be counted on to make those around him chuckle...or at the very least, smile.

The Questions:
1. Okay, so, have you ever cheated on someone: nope.
2.Have you been cheated on/ have you ever been the other man: Yes. the other man. smh. [smh= shaking my head, for those of you who might not be familiar with that abbreviation]
3.Did you actively pursue her: yes and no...I was in a really bad place at the time
4.How long did it last: no more than 5 weeks.
5. Did this gal ever talk about the fact that she had a bf: I knew she was married, yes.
6. Is she still married: nope
7. Because of this affair or other reasons: no she told me at the time that she was the most single, married woman. They were already on the rocks.
8. Do you think her motives were related to her sexual desire: It's possible
9. Did you ever feel guilty about it: If I could do it again, I wouldn't.
10. How would you rate the sex: it wasn't anything over the top cause we were in a public place whenever we messed around.
11. What do you think the motives for cheating are: um I think it's mostly just unhappiness in their current situation. But also I think that people get into relationships when they aren't ready for one. They're not ready to be with one person.
12. Do you think that there are things people can do to avoid being cheated on/ cheating: To not cheat? I just feel like if you feel you need to cheat then you shouldn't be in a relationship. I understand that shit happens in the heat of the moment but at that point you gotta reevaluate your relationship. As far as being cheated on, I'm not sure. If you're doing what you can do emotionally, physically and sexually---in theory, the person you decided to be in a relationship should be satisfied. At that point, if they cheat on you, it's on them
13. Why do you think people consistently cheat but claim to love the person they are cheating on? You can't consistently cheat and love the person you're cheating on.
14. So why do you think people try to "have their cake and eat it too": It boils down to a persons values/conscience, ect. Most people would rob a bank if they could get away with it , regardless of their financial situation. So most people think "if I can have someone to come home to and who will cook for me and this that and the third, but have something on the side..."
15. Do you think monogamy is a realistic expectation: Absolutely, if you find the right person.



Subject #3

Profile: This subject is the true definition of a sassafrass. She is an educated, successful, outgoing and overall great gal.


The Questions:
1. Have you ever been cheated on/ cheated on someone: yes I have been cheated on. Never cheated ::holds back from slandering this mans name all over your blog::
2. When you found out, what went through your mind: honestly, I was at a company Christmas party with him and I found out via a text on his phone while he was in the bathroom. What went through my mind was to not assume and go nuts per usual lol but ask questions and see what he said. Although before it was confirmed I think I knew deep down it was happening.
3. How did you know deep down? Were there signs: Yes. He started going MIA for a few hours at a time at night. His mother would text me and ask me where he was because he was claiming to be with me but wasn't. I noticed he was just lying all the time and becoming distant.
4. As far your sex life went, were you guys getting it on regularly: YOU KNOW IT lol
5.Did you ever get an explanation of why he cheated: Never ever. And he pursued me and forced things to get serious. But he has a track record of never being monogamous. Cheatin' and lying. He said he knows he wasn't good enough for me and thought he was ready to commit but wasn't.
6. What kind of emotions did you go through once you learned you had been cheated on: Oh wow. Angry and wanted answers. Heart broken and down, loss of appetite. Didn't want to go anywhere with my girls. I only started to feel better once I cut off ALL ties.
7. If you tell this guy anything, what would it be: hmm. Probably that I forgave him a long time ago and that I pray he is saved by the good lawd because he far worse off than me. OH and good luck with the child he is having with the girl he cheated on me with and got preggers. lol. Okay, maybe I wouldn't say the last part.
8. Do you believe monogamy is possible this day in age: Absolutely. I'm surrounded by good men who don't cheat on their girlfriends.
9. Why do you think cheating happens in the first place: I think a lack of feeling fulfilled. And that doesn't necessarily mean that your significant other isn't meeting you needs but that there could be something within you that is missing; self worth, confidence, inability to commit for some reason. We sometimes point fingers to the other party when sometimes the cheater needs to take a look at themselves and see what is missing.
10: Beautifully said! Do you have any other thoughts or comments about cheating: I thhinkkkkk that's all my thoughts for now! *drops mic*


Subject #4:

Profile: My last (but not least) subject is a fascinating human with an ability to get a party going unlike any other person I have ever known. He is also a seemingly good hearted and genuine guy.

The Questions:
1. Okay, SO, have you ever cheated on someone/been cheated on/ been the other man: yes, yes and yes.
2. So, how many times have you cheated: Well I say once when I had a girlfriend. I don't consider "talking" to multiple people cheating lol as long as they know the truth. Actually...twice when I had a girlfriend, sorry.
3. What were your reasons for cheating: umm I was bored of one girl and the time I was still in love with the ex still
4. When you were cheating, did you think about the person you were cheating on: During foreplay but after that, no way!
5. How did you feel afterwards: I didn't feel anything afterwards when I cheated with my ex but the second gf I cheated on, I felt bad.
6. Did you tell them you cheated: the gf? no
7. Why: one found out. The other I didn't tell cause I felt bad for doing it.
8. Did you break up once she found out: yea
9. How did you find out that YOU had been cheated on: Just cause I'm very observant and I asked questions until the person decided to stop lying.
10.What behaviors were you observing: Not answering my calls when they usually do, avoiding the question, seeing the way they interacted with that person.
11. How did you feel when it was confirmed, like what kind of emotions: um honestly not mad at all about who it was or why it happened but the fact that she lied made me the most upset.
12. Did you break up after: yea, but still did stuff after.
13. When you were the "other man" did you actively pursue that girl: no
14. Did you know she had a man: yeah
15. Did you feel guilty: yes I did, but only the first time
16. How long did it go on for: hmm idk I think weeks until she broke up with him
17. Overall, why do you think people cheat: The rebellious act of getting away with something or being bored with their partner.
18. Do you think there are ways to avoid being cheated on/ cheating on someone: Umm just keep the relationship exciting and new ...and not putting yourself in an awkward situation where cheating is possible.
19. Do you believe that men are capable of turning down sex when tempted: when sober, yea, very capable.
20. Is it possible to cheat on someone and still love them: yes
21. Explain how: cause when you cheat it's out of pure action and feelings at the moment not because you hate or not love your partner.
22. Would you say that cheating only ever occurs in the spur of the moment or can it be emotional too: I think the first time it happens it's spur of the moment and a little sexual/emotional but if it keeps happening then it's more emotional and/or it's just that good.
23.Why do you think people cheat on a regular basis but still stay with their significant other: Cause they love that person or don't want to let that person get away or to be characterized as a cheater. And they like doing something that they can get away with.



All of these peeps have different experiences with cheating therefore their feelings about the topic are obviously reflective of that. What I learned from probing people I know with personal and invasive questioning is that there isn't just one reason that cheating occurs within a relationship. In some cases there might be a million reasons why the cheating happens, while other times the person cheated on might feel like a bamboozled baboon scratching the top of his or her head with their pointer finger.

My advice (in case you were wondering) is to enjoy your relationship. Be the best girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife that you know how to be. Have fun. Reap the benefits of  being in love, engaging in great sex and having someone to hold hands with in the movie theater and other public venues. BUT....trust yourself enough to believe when that gut feeling of yours is telling you something is up. AND if you do find out that someone has been playing your perfect self for a fool, love yourself enough to give that lame lobster the "suck it" motion and keep it movin.' In my opinion, once a Cheatin Cheeta, always a Cheatin Cheeta; and sugar pie honey bunch, there way too many other humans on this planet to be stuck subjecting yourself to heartbreak, disrespect and sharing a penis and/or vagina unwillingly with another person.



Electric Sliding on outta here,
Bcoll$

The Mystery of Men

Let's face it, to most women, men are a massive mystery. We spend so much of our time thinking and over analyzing about all the ridiculous things that men do....ridiculous things that they probably don't even have the slightest clue that they are even doing. The worst part about all of this over thinking crap, is that it has the tendency to make us come across really, really annoying. We annoy our friends, our men and there is no way that we are not annoying ourselves! Imagine for just a moment, what it would be like if the guy in your life dissected every little thing that came out of your mouth, got an attitude if you were busy and couldn't text him back right away, or fished for a compliment every time you two were going out on a Friday night. It is impossible to not admit that you wouldn't be an annoyed Amelia. I know I would sure be! You can be the sexiest, smartest, most hilarious gal in all the land, but if you're annoying--your man/ any man is going to get sick of you.  Fast.

 I, of course, am concerned about this phenomenon that I am identifying as the "annoying epidemic" and wanted to dedicate this blog to bringing a necessary awareness to it. If I can help one reader minimize their annoying girlfriend/jump off/whatever title you give yourself, levels, then I can sleep easy knowing I helped to maximize someones "I'm cool as shit" levels. Truth be told, I believe that every human being on this planet has the innate capability to be the coolest of cats, 24-7. All it takes is some self reflection and the application of some slight personal changes to reveal it to the world! And let's be honest, this world could really use more cool.

6 Ways How To Not Be An Annoying Girl

1. Do not ask your significant other/ any man if you look fat: Okay, so I know that sometimes we lovely ladies wake up feeling like beached whales. Beached whale mornings and days really bite. I  know how tempting and easy it is for us to turn to the leading man in our life to make us feel better about ourselves, because after all, isn't that his job? Regardless, I sincerely urge you all to resist this temptation.

You might be asking "why can't I ask if I look fat, Bcoll$--what's the big whoop?" WELL, for starters- if this man you are annoying is your boyfriend, baby daddy, boo- thang, FWB, side piece or sugar daddy, then I think it is safe to assume that he is currently giving or has at some point in time has given you the D. If a dude if dicking you down, then that means that he is attracted to you. If he is attracted to you, then he has good reason for it. He is not fornicating with you because he thinks you are grossly fat, in fact, he probably thinks you're really great looking and wants you to think that about yourself  as well. And if by the slim chance that he does think of you to be Wanda the Whale, then that is exactly how he likes you. Deal with it.

No man that I know wants to spend their time reassuring any girl of their looks, it's a blatant display of your insecurity and we all know that insecurity does not reflect positively on us. So, if you are feeling like plump Paula, call a friend, wear something flattering or take a trip to the gym and remember that the people in your life like you for YOU, not for how small (or thick) the circumference your waist is.

2. Have your own life: I know that when you're in love, like or someone has casually got your vajayjay whipped, it is easy to want to spend an enormous amount of time with that special person. However, if you are always up your boy toys ass, it is inevitable that he will start to get sick of you, regardless of how wonderfully amazing and interesting you are. A way to avoid this kind of situation is to simply have and embrace your own life! Find the balance between in spending a healthy amount of time with your love bug, and still maintaining your own independence and social life. Not only will this help to decrease your annoying levels,  it will also ensure that you don't compromise who you really are and what you like to do, for any other person!

3. Keep it Spicy: From my observations and experiences, annoyance levels in any kind of relationship, really set in when your daily interactions become monotonous. Routine is healthy to a certain extent, but if there is no element of surprise or spontaneity you will without a doubt become bored  at some point or another. So, make sure to spice up your life every now and then, in or out of the bedroom. Whip up a delicious meal out of the blue, sneak attack and wake up your man while he is sleeping with some unexpectedly, unbelievably fantastic fellatio, plan a getaway for a night or two...do anything, just make sure you keep things fresh. I bet you 20.00 that you will not regret it.


4. Easy on the constant contact: These days, it is super simple to be in constant contact with anyone, boo thang or not. I have seen far too many ladies get their panties in a twist because their guy wasn't responding to phone calls or texts but was pretty active on twitter, facebook and/or instagram. To this, I say, take a chill pill. Although I recognize how annoying this type of this behavior can be, you will come across 10x more annoying by making it a federal case. 9 times out of 10, your dude just got sucked in by the black hole that is the social network sphere and will get back to you as soon as he gets in touch with reality again. On the other hand, if you happen to notice that your texts and phone calls are being ignored on a regular basis, then perhaps this guy is attempting to lamely send you a message; a message we all fear to receive...he's just not that into you. If this is happening to you, I suggest you throw up your pointer and middle finger and stereotypically mutter "deuces."

4. Don't be a jealous freak: Jealously is an ugly, good for nothing disease. These days, jealously runs rampant and is plaguing relationships of all kinds, everywhere. I view jealously as more of a symptom of a larger and more serious issue. Lot's of times someone will become jealous because of their own deep seeded insecurities, "daddy- issues" or it can stem from past relationship experiences that have nothing to do with your current one. If you happen to be a jealous Judy, I challenge you to question yourself as to why? It's imperative that you figure it out because there are not too many men out there that will deal with crazy, jealous behavior for too long.

5. Don't Be A Crazy Chick: The fact that so many of our intimate relationships these days are being kept casual, has played an intricate part in the rise of crazy chicks. Women from all over, are becoming increasingly confused about where they stand in the relationship (or non- relationship) with the main man in their life. Ladies, if you are confused about whether or not the guy you hump a few times a week wants to make you his girlfriend, then please seek clarification from him. NEVER assume. Beyond that, if you are not his girlfriend then do not act like one. Do not go out of your way to do nice things for him, do not send him X rated photos unless he sends you one first and most of all, do not expect him to behave like a boyfriend because he is not your boyfriend. The last thing I want for any woman is to be labeled a stage 5 clinger. Yikes.

6. Have Some Fun: Relationships of any kind most definitely require work HOWEVER there should be an equal amount of play. Life is short guys, enjoy the time you have with the one who has your hearts attention. It is also incredibly important to remember that nothing is more annoying than a boring Bertha. So do your best to not be one of those.


 Gentleman, don't think for one second that you are not guilty of being JUST as annoying as the ladies, because you most certainly have your moments. I addressed this blog to the fabulous females because of one reason and one reason only; women care more. Men are great in so many ways but lets face it, they just don't care about the same things that humans with the XX chromosomes do. The bottom line here is ladies, let's get it together a little bit, settle things down and embrace our inner cool. At the end of the day, it will benefit everyone.

PS: I already think you're the coolest,
Bcoll$

Thoughts About Threesomes

Two Sundays ago, I received a call from a friend that I have literally known since the sandbox. We hadn't chatted in a while and after catching up on the standard happenings in our lives she revealed what she was really calling about. Turns out, her boyfriend was showing an interest in engaging in a threesome, and she felt like I was someone she needed to talk to about it. Of course I was elated that my friends feel comfortable enough coming to be with situations such as these and really tried to give my best advice on the subject! The conversation did more than make me feel like a good friend, it triggered a genuine interest in what threesomes are really about. True to Bcoll$ form, I have been digging in all sorts of places to get information about the different dynamics of threesomes.


Basic Threesome Definitions ...

Definition of a threesome: When three different people have sex with one another, in the same place, at the same time. These three musketeers can be made up of the same sex, two girls- guy, two guys- one girl, one guy- two transsexuals...ect.

Most Common Threesome: The most common type of threesome from what I gathered from my research is that of two girls- one guy. Most men have a fantasy of sexing up and getting sexed up by two (or more) desirable women at the same time. Men also enjoy the idea (or in this case, the reality) of those two desirable women enjoying each other in a sexual manner for the man to watch and get pleasure from.

Definition of *Guest Star*: The term "guest star" is used primarily when two people who enjoy having sex with one another (they could be in a relationship, sex buddies, friends w/ benefits, ect) decide to invite someone into their bedroom for a night...or two. This guest star can be a mutual friend, an acquaintance or a random individual whom the main two both find attractive and wouldn't mind getting it on with.


How It Goes Down

Step 1- The proposal: In order for a threesome to occur, it needs to be discussed in depth. Typically, the "lets have a threesome" conversation is not brought up at the same time by two people. There is one person who is interested in having this experience and they will have to persuade the other person that it is a good idea. This conversation can definitely be awkward which is why I advise having a plan;
               Things to consider before asking to have a threesome:

• Why are you asking for it? The person you are requesting the threesome from will certainly want the answer to this question. -if it is because you are not being sexually satisfied then adding another person who may satisfy you more so than your current partner might only make things worse for you when the guest star leaves and it is just the two of you in the bedroom. - If it is because you want to have sex with other people without being coined a cheater, you might also consider rethinking this request as well as your current relationship or whatever your current predicament might be. - Finally, if it is because you want to explore your sexuality, expand your sexual horizons, and experience a fantasy in a healthy way...then go ahead, pop the question.
• What qualities would you like the guest star to possess? - This is important to think about before having the threesome conversation. If you want the guest star to be thick, puertorican and tall when you date/bang a white, skinny, vertically challenged person, you will need to explain your reasons for wanting that. 
• What is the confidence level of the person you are asking? If you date/smush someone who you know has self esteem issues then asking for a threesome probably isn't a good idea. He/she will take it personally, feel inadequate and if you go through with the threesome will probably not enjoy it or may try to sabotage it....or worse.
• Step two- Preparing the Search: One he/she says yes to the threesome proposal, the two of you will have to sit down and discuss what kind of person you both have in mind. It is vital that both parties involved agree on the invitee because if one isn't on board with the decision, then it will throw off the whole vibe and you know how important vibes are!

Step three- proposal #2: Once you identify the type of guest star you are interested in inviting into your sex lair, you will need to actually find a real human to extend that invitation to. This could be tricky because it is not everyday that you ask someone a question of this nature, It is also possible that the person you ask will decline your offer. I have been asked to be a guest star twice in my life (when I was a single salamander), which is pretty reckless. I had to respectfully say no both times because I knew and cared about these humans and honestly, couldn't imagine looking at my girl the same after seeing her man's penis....or her va -va voom. Too much. Regardless, I am sure I was asked because I am so open and enthusiastic about all things sexual but that does not mean that I was automatically agree to be a guest star despite it being a somewhat flattering situation. I would suggest that you make a list of humans to ask, don't take the no's personally and go down that list until someone agrees

Step four- actually doing it: Once you cast a guest star, you will have to check in with yourself to make sure it is something you actually and sincerely want to partake in. If so, then I hope you have a great time. I have talked to a few people who did partake in threesomes and below you can find their feedback

• Case Study #1: This case study is about a female who was asked to guest star in a threesome that included two of her friends who were in a long term relationship. She went into the situation thinking that it would a fun experience for all involved. However, once it was all over, the girlfriend (of the boyfriend) involved began to "flip out." She was crying, angry and swearing and screamed at the guest star to leave immediately. The guest star confided to me that she would never, participate in a threesome ever again. She and the other girl are no longer friends.
• Case Study #2: This case study is about a bi-sexual female who was dating a way older man. They were both interested in the "swinging" lifestyle and both reported that they enjoyed their threesome immensely...and would like to have more, more often.
• Case Study #3: This case study is about a same sex threesome in which two of the participants were dating. The other was a person they met on vacation. The threesome experience went well until one of the people (in the relationship) secretly exchanged numbers with the guest star and was continuing to speak with this person behind the others back. Eventually, this came to light and needless to say, it was not pretty and ultimately jaded the threesome experience.
• Case Study #4: This case study is about a female who agreed to have a threesome with her boyfriend under the circumstance that the guest star would be a stranger they would meet by chance. They have been looking for years.... and regretted to report that they have had no luck.

* I was surprised as to how difficult it was to find people who have experienced a threesome. It seems that although it is a highly coveted activity, not too many are actively participating in it. I personally believe that making the decision to have a threesome is a pretty big deal. Just like all big deals, it should be treated thoughtfully and carefully. Whether you are entertaining the idea, in search of actualizing it or are currently reaping the benefits, I wish you the best of luck!!


<>,
Bcoll$

"What's Yo FantasY!" (Ludacris Voice)

A few weeks ago, I became a little bit obsessed with 'fantasies.' I don't know why or how it happened but it was like my mind was just consumed with questions about why fantasies exist and how come we don't make moves to actualize these desires of ours. Are we scared, embarassed, ashamed or do we just not understand how? What would happen if fantasies simply became goals that we try to attain?

 I found myself thinking about my own fantasies and questioning myself on why I haven't even thought that they could be something to come into fruition. For instance one of my fantasies is to record a rap song. If you have ever heard my speaking voice, you understand that I am the farthest thing from a rapper but why do I let that stop me? I know lots of guys who have acess to a recording booth and can throw a beat or two my way and it's not like I'm trying to be lil Kim, I just want to experience what it's like to spit some hot fire. I believe it is what everyone else would think or say that deters me from making this magic happen and I also believe that this is what happens with fantasies in general.

Fantasies are fantasies because if we shared them with society, things would probably take an awkward turn. We have been conditioned to behave (for the most part) in a manner in which we don't dare draw outside of the lines. Most fantasies would not be accepted by the masses and that is exactly why most of us believe that they will never and can never happen in real life. It just doesn't seem right to me.

 I am challenging myself to figure out ways to honor these fantastic fantasies that live in this brain of mine which means that you should all be on the look out for my debut single in the very near future. I would invite anyone who reads this blog to do the same.We are the only people who know what our deepest, darkest wants and needs are, which means that we are the only people who can  make them happen. So, if you dream of one day winning the lotto then go play those numbers, homie, because we all know that if you don't play, you can't win.  If you have some kind of kinky, sex fantasy then go tell whoever it is you bone on the regular that you need him/ her to try something new. What do you we really have to lose?

Since I was feeling so inspired about this particular topic, I had to send out a traditional mass text to my panel of "The Twilight Zone" advisors. I asked them if they would be willing to share any kind of fantasy that they might have.

 Here are the responses:

1. "I don't really know if I have a fantasy (dating an older man) and all. I guess it would have to be to be with someone in their 20's who I had a really good chemistry with and we would just do it all day long in bed. Instead of the older guy who is done in 5 minutes and snoring lol."
2. "I would have to say to have a hot hook up in a bathroom at a club with a stranger in vegas (like you see in the movies)
3. "Sex on the beach....or on my front lawn or something." [1 hour later, same person] Besides what I already said, I will keep it general and say sex in a public place like a dressing room, resturant, bathroom, ect"
4. "Winning powerball is a common one....I'd pay off all my family's debt then buy everyone a home and start a college fund for all my neices and nephews..then do the same for my good brahs, retire, open a coaching academy, employ my friends/ fam, travel the world and maybe teach internationally. I fantasize about this far too often"
5. "I fantasize about men. Nice slender but fit men with beautiful abs...and nice lips!"
6. "I have no fantasies except to win the powerball. Other than that I'm pretty satisfied"
7. "I have this fantasy that Tyrese is my boo and I come home from work and he is in the kitchen in a shirt and tie (so sexy) cooking me dinner. When I walk in he's just finishing putting it all on a nicely set table. We start kissing (in the kitchen) picks me up, wraps my legs around him, gives it to me on the kitchen counter"
8. "Having a threesome where nobody's feelings get hurt or for a man to watch me with a girl."
9. "My secret fantasy is to be a secret agent/ infidelity private eye to take down the evil men of the world with my charm, wit and irresitable good looks."
10. "Become famous for simply being myself"
11. "Meet Jayz and become his close personal friend"
12. "Ooo....easy. I want to have sex in the office on the desk...just jump right in, you know? The thrill of getting caught."
13. "Sex with a teacher"
14. "So i'll make it short and sweet...my fantasy is having my own plane, fully stocked with circoc, bringing a beautiful woman who enjoys sex as much as a male does on a trip to hawaii for a weekend. Obviously sex 70% of the fight lol then getting out there and meeting a complete stranger, beautiful hawaiian woman and having a 3some. Also, I would need to go the same weekend Jayz is performing so I can have vip passes to meet and greet."

Happy Valentines day angel food cake faces! I <3 the crappola out of you,
Bcoll$

Dangerous Songs For the Average Gal

I admit that I am one of those people who while listening to a song, convince themselves that it is entirely about them. Egotistical, I know. I didn't realize that this was a quality I possessed until I was enjoying a "hip hop ab" work out just a few days ago. I was mid air hump when the song changed to "dont cha" by the Pussycat dolls. Immediately upon hearing the first few lines of this epic song, I felt my energy go up, my dance moves suddenly seemed to feel sharper and actually on beat. I was movin' and grovin like I had something to prove. Once the song ended though, my enthusiasm decreased and I was left feeling puzzled as to why.

It only took me a few minutes to realize that my hip hop ab performance hit an all time high during "dont cha" because that song gets me going! I was gyrating with a purpose because in that 3 minute period of time, I really believed that someone was truly sitting around, wishing that their girlfriend was hot, fun and a freak like me! This type of thinking is not typical of me and I blame it solely on the song itself. Since this epiphany occurred, I have been identifying other songs that have a similar effect on me and feel it is my duty to warn others.

Songs to Watch Out For

 Song: Don'tcha-Pussycat Dolls
 Disillusionment side effects: While listening to this song you should expect to feel superior to just about every girl who has a boyfriend. You will also be positive that the boyfriends of these ladies want to get in your pants. You may also experience feelings that you can get with any man on the planet.
Signature dance moves: "The hair grab. The feel on your own body. Lots of booty shaking and gyration.

Song: Irreplaceable- Beyonce
Disillusionment side effects: Regardless of your relationship status you will feel angry at some man in your life. You will begin to believe that he does not in fact know about you and have the urge to take back anything you have ever bought him. You will find yourself wanting to make sure you could have "another him in a second" just in case you quote this actual line from the song when engaging in an argument.
Signature dance moves: head snapping and a whole lot of lip smacking. You may also feel inclined to give someone the hand while listening to this song.
Warning: This song is more powerful than you may think. Avoid listening to it while suffering from PMS or any other emotional condition.

Song: Ride it- Ciara
Disillusionment side effects: It is 99.9% possible that you will be positive that "he loves the way you ride it" You may experience feelings of an increased libido and some have even reported experiencing a sudden urge to give a lucky man the lap dance of their life.
Signature dance moves: You will do everything to look like Ciara did in her video while dancing to this song. Trust me when I say, you will not look like her. If you insist on attempting anyways, do so in private.

Song: Hypnotize- Biggie Smalls
Disillusionment side effects: Thinking that Biggie Smalls has come back from the dead in the form of your body. You may consider putting cotton balls in your cheeks in order to sound more authenic.
Signature dance moves: Gangstas don't dance.



Of course, I will continue to listen to these songs regardless of the severe the effects they are capable of causing. I am however, thankful to hip hop abs for making me aware that these effects even exist. I will hopefully be able to control my reactions while in public but I cannot be too sure.

<>,
Bcoll$

         

L.O.V.E.

I woke up with love and relationships on my mind. Although I love to love, I am not the type of girl who sits around googling "relationship and love quotes" while fantasizing about Prince Charming galloping on his white horse right into my life. In my opinion, Prince Charming is a ridiculous, invisible comparison that has left many ladies and perhaps even a few gentleman completely and utterly disillusioned about what real love actually consists of. I am not trying to sound like a Bitter Bethy pants because I really am not. I just think that people need to think a little more about what connecting with another human being in a romantic way involves and how it develops. It's a gradual process that has a 50/50 chance to succeed or fail; it's a constant revolving door that many of us will walk through lots of times in our lifetime. Obviously, I have identified the "love stages" that I came up with out of experience, hundreds upon hundreds conversations with my gal and male pals, observation, common sense and just about every other way anyone can ever form an opinion. Enjoy!

LOVE STAGES

• Initial Mutual Attraction: Two people discovering that they are attracted to one another is usually an exciting time. We all like to feel wanted and when we realize that the hot piece of ass we've been keeping our eye on has been keeping their eye on us too, is when we feel like things are about to go down. This time is also a bit vulnerable because it could go either 1 of 2 ways; You could either make this attraction be a catalyst for the clock chiming "get it in 0' clock" or you could take it slow, get to know each other, go on dates and see how far this little attract attack can take you. It really depends on what the two of you are looking for. If it's a chance at love you're hoping for then I suggest to try to take it slow, give the physical connection a chance to blossom into more. If you aren't looking for anything serious, then take the physical connection and see if you can develop it into a sexually satisfying situation. I'd give you a high five regardless!
• The 'Talking Stage': "Talking" is an example of our generation having blatant issues with commitment and labels. During the talking stage you will find yourself texting with your "boo thang" all the time, late night phone calls, hanging out in the same place with your respective group of friends and usually occasional  and casual one on one time. Saying your talking to someone gives you an ample amount of cushion to fall on if things don't pan out the way you had hoped. It also gives you time to get to know someone in a laid back, no pressure, no strings attached kind of way. Be aware that this is the time that 2 people will do their best to impress each other. You can expect them to be on top of their game in respect to; cracking jokes, looking their absolute best every time you see them, no drama behavior, seeming super duper interesting, flirting, giving unsolicited compliments, showering you with attention, affection--ect.ect. The 'talking stage' is usually a really fun time and if it is not, then it is unlikely that the couple will move on to the next stage of love.
• Exclusive Dating: When two people decide that they like each other so much, that they don't even want to leave the possibility of their baby bear dating another person; they will become an exclusive Ernie and Emelia. Becoming exclusive is both a happy time as well as a terrifying time. This is a time of commitment. This is when the two of you will have to send out texts to the secret players you have kept on your roster just in case, letting them know that their contracts have officially not been renewed. This is when you have to pretty much alter any remotely eye brow raising behavior because now it is not only a reflection of yourself but also a reflection of your relationship. Usually, these two people are so into each other that the notion of them not staring in one anothers eyes with creepy, glowing smiles on their love struck faces is not even realistic for them.
• Honey Moon Phase: ohhh the honey moon phase. This is a time in which the couple is at their peak happiness and subsequently can be found annoying F out of any of their friends who are single or are currently in a long term relationship. During the HM phase, every kiss will make you feel like you are one step closer to heaven, you will walk around town with a bizarre pep in your step that nobody will understand and you will find yourself raving to anyone who will listen about how you are the most lucky person. Enjoy this time, treasure it, bottle it up because once ends--and it will, you and you significant other will never return back to this phase.
• Real Relationship: Once the honey moon phase ends, you will find yourself in a real full blown relationship. This is time when you start to form some kind of routine, the constant affection dies down a little bit,  and you get to know each other on a more organic level. I find that this is where most couples decide that they made a mistake in being together and the love train stops in break up city or they find that they actually really, really, really like being in this relationship and want to be in it for a while.
• L*bomb time: After dating someone for a significant amount of time, you just may find yourself dropping the big ol' doozey: I love you. Saying I love you is a huge freaking deal and once you say it, you can never take it back. So, make sure that you are not wasted, high, on pain medication or half asleep when you declare your love. If you are the person who says the L word first, then you are leaving yourself open to that person not saying it back. Talk about awkward. If this unfortunate instance happens to you then that sucks and I will give you a supportive hug anytime you need one but you should probably also make an executive decision to leave the relationship. There are just some things that are incredibly difficult to bounce back from and corny or not, you deserve someone that is going to love you back.
• Long Term $hit: Once all the magic of falling in love is behind a couple, you enter the long term phase. As a couple, you begin to get used to your life involving another person directly. You go through trials and tribulations, learn everything you wanted and somethings you never wanted to know about this love of yours and get really good at having sex with each other (if you do not get good at this task, then that is an issue that needs IMMEDIATE attention.)
• Make it or Break It Time: At some point, you will find yourselves at a fork in the non existent road we all are walking and you two precious people will have to decide if you want to walk the same direction together...or go your separate ways. Things could get BONKERS at this time, so make sure you are fully prepared for your life and your relationship to experience some turbulence. If you and your partner make it through this time safely then chances are, you are really in this for the long haul. You might even start planning a future together. Holla! If your relationship falls apart on heart break Avenue, then cry, be sad, move on and start back at stage one again.

If all else fails--I'll always love you,

Bcoll$